I'm planning to apply for a new job after only four months at my current one

Hey duders,

I've spoke about this elsewhere (On the Album Club Discord infact), and got some really good advice, but I'm eager to see what you guys think of this concept.

I've been at my current job for about...four months now. It started off okay, but it's quickly gone downhill fast. I'm a receptionist. I like being a receptionist. It's interesting, there's a lot to do, and I like the job.

But that's where it ends. If it was just coming in and doing the job, I think it'd be fine. But it's all the shit around it that makes it problematic.

I work really unsociable hours. I'm either working insanely early, or insanely late. So I'm either up at 6am, or home at 9pm. I specifically moved across the country to be with my partner, so the fact that I'm barely ever spending time with her makes me question why I'm even doing this job. By the time I get home at night, and we have dinner, it's time for bed, and that's multiple days a week. On top of this, I'm expected to be working Saturdays too coming up, which means even less time together.

The pay is absolutely terrible. I barely make over minimum wage, and I work really hard. The new job I have my eyes on pays an extra almost four thousand pounds a year, which would really make a difference in my day to day life.

My manager, while she can be nice, can also be a real dragon too. The problem is that the other person I work on the reception with is her best friend outside of work, so I feel like she's bulletproof in the office. Everytime there's a problem, it always feels like it's me taking the blame, and the other person can't be at fault, because they're such good friend outside of work. I try really hard to do a good job, but I feel I'm always doing something wrong. A lot of the time, the things I get pulled up on are really stupid too, and feel totally unfair.

I like the job, but the people are different. They say one thing to your face, then behind your back they're complaning about you to management, and that's not a healthy conducive work environment to feeling mentally healthy.

I feel bad that I'm looking to job hop after only four months, but I just can't stand it anymore. I dread going in every day, because of all the above reasons. I feel bad about going, but I know that nowadays, people jump ship all the time to do a better job, and I need to learn to adapt to this new style of work. Thing is, the new place I want to apply to seems excellent, and I could see a long fruitful career there.

What do you guys think? What would you do in my position?

There is absolutely no reason to feel bad about leaving. With how much of your life you are going to spend working, the bare minimum should be that a job isn't terrible, and it sounds like this one is currently failing at doing that. The reality is that the situation is only going to get worse for you overall, both in your mental health and potentially your relationships. My wife was in the same situation and trying to tough it out for company loyalty is not the way to go.

Look for something else, and if asked about why you left after only a few months, it's ok to be honest and say that the work environment wasn't the best.

Apply for the job. Do not talk crap or get baited into badmouthing your current position during the interview process, that's a red flag for many potential employers and something that hiring managers will be attentive to regarding short tenure at a position.

Practice giving an answer about how the work was a good fit but the unpredictable schedule was not. You had moved for your partner and were happy to find quick employment, but you're looking for a position with a schedule that better matches your home life so you can make the most of your time (assuming that's true of this position, i.e. it has a stable schedule). You can absolutely say that you thought that this position would work great, but it turns out that you couldn't make the schedule work.

People change jobs for all sorts of reasons, especially if they involve relocating, just make sure that you navigate around potential concerns. One way to do this is to redirect questions about your current firm to describe your enthusiasm for the new position rather than focus on the fit/environment of the old. Don't dodge, per se, but the schedule deal should be sufficient to explain.

I was in a fairly similar situation recently. I got hired as a paid intern for a company 6 months ago, but started to hate the job, the pay, the hours & the work from home life. So, I started looking for a new gig, two months ago. I just hit my 6 month mark at the current gig this past Friday, and they offered me a full time role, which I ended up turning down, which ended my employment with them right then and there.

I decided to make the plunge because I realized that I spend way too much time working to not be happy with my work life. And it prevented me from being more helpful around the house, meaning my partner was being heavily relied upon to do household chores like cleaning, groceries and laundry, meaning my home life was always starting to be strained some. So, I 100% back your decision to find something else. I'm not sure where you are, but there is a ridiculous amount of unemployed folks in the US, so I am sure the business will have no problem finding someone to replace you. You should have no problem finding somewhere that values you and where you value the work you are doing. You deserve more.

I agree with Enthalpy. Don't get baited into talking about any drama at your old job. Just stick to the issue about the work hours and it not working out based on your personal life. More importantly, only talk about it if the interviewer ask about it. Never freely offer information that could make you look like a bad hire. If asked about your old job, give a positive answer about the place and then explain how it was not their fault you decided to look for another place of employment. As long as you weren't fired, they can only take your word for it. The key to any interview is to give off a positive vibe to the interviewer. And people hop jobs all the time when they realize its not a good fit for various reasons, its okay.

@noboners: Two quick thoughts. The OP mentioned the currency being pounds, so they're in the UK. Second, the unemployment rate in the US is the lowest it has been since 1969.

@sombre: I hope you applied. The worst case scenario is that you aren't hired, which just puts you in the same boat you currently are. The best case is a better job. Your job won't improve by doing nothing.

@ginormous76: Whoops, missed that mention of currency! And yeah I should have been more specific with my unemployment mentions. I know unemployment is low, but there are still plenty of unemployed people looking for employment opportunities depending where you live. I was more trying to just say the employer probably won't have a problem finding someone to hire.

If it sucks hit da bricks!

You owe nothing to your employer aside from doing the job you are paid to do, and working the notice period you agreed to when you signed the contract.

If they aren't what you expected, there's nothing wrong with looking for another job. Four months is long enough to see the writing on the wall, and it sounds like it's written in plain English on those walls. Nepotism is a killer, especially if a situation is resolved either by you, or the person whom benefits from nepotism; You'll always be handed the shit end of the stick.

Be prepared to answer "Why are you leaving your current role?" with some level of honesty and tact in the interview for your next one, they will want to know that they can be sure you'll stay there as long as your issues with your current role are resolved by the new role.

Always do what's best for you and you have a number of worthwhile reasons why you'd want to leave and why the current situation is not sustainable or healthy for you. As long as you are able to explain why this job didn't work out and why this new job would be a better fit, you're all good there.

I'm applying for a new job on Friday. There's been an opening at the charity my partner works at and she thinks I'd be perfect for the role. It's doing what I do now, but without the toxic work culture.

Basically, my mental health is in absolute shreds at my current job. My team hate me, I suspect because I'm a man in a primarily female dominated industry (Healthcare) and they routinely make me feel two inches tall. I had a problem on Friday, with me forgetting something in the morning, because I'd been working an extra fifteen hours overtime that week, and the day before I took sick because I had a wicked migraine. Because of that, I had mad brain fog on Friday. I forgot to do something in the morning, and remembered at night, so I sent my colleague who was in early on the Monday that I forgot, and could she do it Monday morning. It would have been a 5 minute job at which she's extremely experienced and capable in. Instead, she reported me to our manager that I was asking her to do my job when I should have done it myself. My manager then texted me first thing Monday morning to say I had to come in early to have a discussion with her and rectify my problem. I was trying to sort out the issue and was stressing that I couldn't work it out myself, and I could see my other colleague typing to our manager on Teams to talk about how I was worrying and panicking over it. They were laughing about me panicking.

Plus, the hours are awful. I thought I could handle shift work, but I rarely ever see my partner during the week. I'm in three nights a week till 9pm, so by the time I've got home and ranted about how shit work is, it's time for bed.

I just can't stand my toxic manager. She's always trying to find ways to demean me and make me feel like a fucking idiot

My partner says I NEED to get out of that job ASAP, cause she can see how upset I get when I get home. Some mornings I wake up in a cold sweat, panicking over what trouble my manager could make up for me this week to drop me in on.

That's no way to work , is it?

I'm nervous to tell them I want to leave though. I think they'll be really awkward about it. My last place wrote me a really unprofessional reference because again, the manager hated me being a man, and it almost lost me this job

Fuck I hate this job. Applying on Friday

@sombre: Good luck to you and hopefully you'll find a job that you can go without stressing about it after hours.

Good luck with your job app. If this doesn't pan out, apply for something else. You can't stay in a job where your colleagues have zero interest in being helpful, and every interest in being snide.

@sombre: Good luck to you. About being afraid of leaving... don't. As long as you give your two weeks notice and do your job during those two weeks before you leave, you should be fine.

You are without any doubt doing the right thing getting away from that job. Sounds horrible!

Things will likely really suck now during the turbulent phase and you may be even more stressed out for a while. But in the long run it is the only way to go. Good luck! Things will become better!

Apply for the job. And if you don't get it, keep applying. You deserve better.

A quick update for those interested:

I've been doing applications :D

I feel like every day at my current job it sucks my soul away a little bit more, because my manager runs really hot and cold. Some weeks she'll be really nice, friendly, chatty, and SEEMS like she could be almost a friend?

Then other weeks I feel she has a target directly on my back, and is looking for ways to directly make my day worse. We had a communication error yesterday that lead to a huge problem at the site, because I assumed she'd okayed something, and it turns out later she didn't. I just did what I was told, but because I assumed, I made a situation. I hate it here so much

I've been applying to a bunch of charities that are mainly remote, which seem like I could make a really big impact on, with education support (I used to be a teacher) and social engagement for disabled people (I worked exclusively with SEN pupils at school).

Also, my partner recently got promoted at work, so I've gone REALLY hard on an application for her old jonb. I think I've got a good chance.

Watch this space pals

Fingers crossed for you duder. If we must work to live, that work shouldn't be an unwilling hardship.

The job I really want shortlists tomorrow.

Please keep your fingers crossed that I'll make it to interview :)

@sombre: Good luck

Got an interview next Wednesday. Watch this space :D

I didn't get it, and I'm really disappointed. I think I wanted the job too bad.

They said I interviewed really well, everything I said was right, they really liked me, but there was another candidate who just had slightly more relevant experience.

Really let myself down. They said if another post opens up at the charity to please apply, as they think I'd be a perfect fit for the place, but it just wasn't meant to be this time

Oh well, gotta move on

Don't sweat it. At least you made an impression. All that's needed after that is a little bit of luck.

A very long time ago, in another life time, I worked for (insert giant Mall anchor store that no longer exists) and worked hard. Teenage me spent many a night after clocking out to work on signage, posters, and typing out forms/receipts. I needed to take an evening off for a school project and was given so much hassle - after that day off (for school), I was given every crap job you could think of. After 3 months, I loathed clocking in.

I had a friend who was leaving a job at a newspaper doing layout/design (on a light table that's how old it was). I had plenty of experience in it, had a few classes under my belt, and had a portfolio. My friend put in a good word with his boss - I should have been golden. I knew my way around a dark room. Knew how to create plates and run the print machines. Done a ton of work on a light table. I counted the chickens before they hatched and put in my two weeks at (Major Dead Mall Anchor).

Despite loving everything during the interview, they ultimately gave the position to someone who expressed they wanted to major in desktop publishing so they could get some real world experience.

Hoisted by my own petard and unemployed, I grabbed a job binder and started applying for anything and everything that seemed remotely interesting.

I ended up landing a job a few weeks later that was not just incredibly flexible with my school hours and paid almost twice as much... they also paid for my classes.

UPDATE:

Got an interview at a charity as a fundraiser next Wednesday :D

Watch this space pals

Good luck, Buddy!

Working a job that doesnt value you, your time, your mental health is about one of the worst "day to day" things a person can go through.

Years ago I gave up my good job, my DREAM job, so my wife and I could relocate back to her home and she could be closer to her family while she was going through some mental health challenges.

It was a big city that everyone was moving to, people with the highest education were working as cashiers in retail etc and so even though I had good credentials I just couldnt compete. Couldnt even get a single call back because the chances of my resume being seen were nil.

Took a job doing construction, had to leave the house at 530am to commute to the parking space I needed to then WALK to the job site for 8. Would work until 5pm and not get home until almost 7pm due to traffic. My saying was "My weekend is already over." And I'd say it every god damn day as a bleak joke because any time I wasnt working just evaporated in the malaise of that battle. No pay, dangerous, treated like shit, passively observing the toxicity of a lot of the co-workers around me alone was rough.

Every day on that 30 minute walk between my parking space and the job site I'd be on my phone just searching and searching and hammering any job I could find that would get me the fuck out of there.

Its rough buddy! Do what you need to do.

Anyway, a couple years later my wife was doing better and I eventually got the F out of there. Old boss kept my job open for me to return.

Hopefully things turn for you here soon!

@sombre: Good luck, Duder!

I'm still watching Duder. Good luck.

Really hope you can get a job and really people that will treat you well. Plus good pay. Morale is very important but at times not talked about in a job. Sad but true. Good luck.

Didn't get it. Same as the last one.

I was a great fit for the role, they loved my attitude and drive, wanted me to apply for other roles- But another candidate had more relevant XP.

I'm gonna hold off for a couple of months now I think. It's really turned around at work lately. I'm treated well, lot of respect, lots of interesting duties- It's nice to work there now

Could just use a pay bump now

@sombre: Here's hoping your current work situation keeps improving, even if it's just the environment. Just being able to want to go to work is way better than dreading it each day.

@sombre: That's good to hear. A person once told me that every job has an asshole who'll try and run you off the job if you let them. The key is to hang in there and let them tire themselves out and not get baited into their games. I've dealt with my share of those types at every job I've worked, but I never let them push me to a point of doing something that would get me fired. And in a lot of cases, those people end up doing something that gets them in trouble with their superiors anyway.